Firsts - Lost Sibling

Here's another first but this one comes from a sad place, the loss of my big brother. So, please go back to your (hopefully) paid day off (if this isn't a day for you to feel my pain) but I can promise some sweet lines long the way.

As a youngster, I watched my brother and envied some of the things that an older brother got to do. I was an annoyance to him as he felt that he couldn't do anything without me watching or wandering what he was up to. This ended up in several damages on my side as I had doors shut in my face or was shoved out of his personal space. Back then I could scurry away or tell  my mom that I was offended by his lack of compassion for my curiosity.

As he grew older, he became more comfortable with his zany ways and I was envious of that. He was creative, had an ear for music, and an eye on comic book story lines. As a matter of fact, my favorite character in the comics was the first one he introduced me to Magique (with Daredevil). He would make sure that I wasn't sitting outside of his room when he would play his Prince records, as it "wasn't age appropriate". Seriously, you were only a couple years older than me. To this day, Prince, Toto, and Depeche Mode will always make me think of my brother and his teenage antics.

Growing older, I had crushes on his friends as they were close to my idol plus had the cool factor that I admired. Sadly, this went as well as a stuffed bikini top at the local swimming pool. Not well. One of them was supposed to take me to the 8th grade dance but happened to forget. OUCH! (Side note: as I "grew up" he supposedly apologized to me through old friends about how that night had turned out. It in itself is a whole other story....first heartbreaking crush.)

A pattern was set as I was the aggravating sister who wouldn't leave him alone and he was the coolest thing I could think of for a unique brother. Yes, we had tons of squabbles but that didn't change my devotion to him. When I got married, he had already run off with his wife. The great part was that he became really tight with my hubby. I stayed in the background as I was told not to "ruin his life" by adoring him, but I was proud of all of his achievements. We even went to visit him and his new family when he was stationed in Alabama and had a wonderful days as we all played cards.

The friendship got even tighter over the last few years and at one point I was told that I no longer had custody of my brother as he was officially my husband's brother. I was fine with that because although I wasn't his fav to hang out with, he was there for me to love from my quiet corner. We were there for the days he moved, some of the last minute get togethers he threw, motorcycle trips, and hours spent working on broken vehicles.

More recently he was going to help us move into the house that we were buying and attend my RMA (registered medical assistant) pinning ceremony. That didn't happen. I ache for what did occur. You see, my brother fought a mental illness that wasn't diagnosed when we were younger. It does explain how he handled things and how he felt about my shadowing him. I understood and backed away as to show my love in a different light. It was the best that I could do.

The night before my pinning we got the call that stopped time for me. My brother was no longer with us. The tears were non stop as my hubs and I tried to piece together what could have taken away such a vivacious warm person. He loved his wife to the point of saint hood, cherished his kids so madly that he sold cars to get them the things they needed. Why had God taken away the brother that had just accepted me as a more important part of his life? I still don't understand and I probably never will.

Even with it being a month ago, I will suddenly start crying as one of his famous lines or a character he would invent popped into my mind for a brief visit. Now, I fight the stream of tears while I think of him imitating Robin Williams who also imitated people. Robin himself died right after my brother's memorial so that made it even harder as people were mourning all around for the same type of spirit being taken from our view. They were so much alike that I re-experienced it all as if the tears hadn't just stopped.

I went to my pinning anyway, without him, and thought of him most of the time that I was celebrating my evening. You can imagine that the tears of joy for my accomplishment were actually for the loss that I was feeling in my heart. I played it off well. My teacher and husband were proud of him for not losing it that night. We bought that house that he was going to put some of his gear at. He isn't there to paint or to give some outlandish opinion on how the bathroom should be decorated in some garish scene. His spare riding gear won't be in the closet and his tools won't be spread in a corner of my garage. Not in reality. In spirit he is with me as I listen to Depech Mode sing Shout, while I watch the memorials on Facebook about the standup acts that Robin Williams did in the eighties, and in the motorcycle (that looks like his) in my garage.

Even if the ringing phone isn't him, he's in my heart as the wonderful man that I shadowed through our lives. This was one man who wasn't afraid to laugh at life's little humor as he would normally joke right back, He was a hero to me, no matter how many flaws a human could point out. That was my brother. I miss him.

P.S. Moral - ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE YOU LOVE THEM - NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON
you never know when God will need them more than we do.

)))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn
Wench Writer

8/4 - First college diploma

Many of you know that I've been in the Land O'College for the last three years. It's been an arduous journey for me and I'm glad to say that as of 7/31, I am done with getting my Medical Assistant Diploma.

 

I don't have my formal graduation, with cap and gown, until 12/4/14 but we were able to have a Pinning Ceremony for the day and night classmates. It was wacky, fun, and sweet. I'm so proud of my girls that I could bust and they know it. I cheered them all on and even issued a few threats of goodness along the way. We were there for each other, in a sorority type of way. Each of us had our own lives, and battles to fight along the way but we were still pushing the next one on.

It's going to take a while for me to come down from my multi tasking lifestyle as I don't have three jobs (yes, there were weeks where this happened) and college classes to attend. It's just strange how out of sorts it feels to not have all of that still going on. Of course, life is still progressing around me so it's not like I'm sitting idle. AS IF! The people close to me know that I don't understand the concept. :-) Having a few things on my plate (like a new book release and purchasing a home) is keeping me from feeling bereft as I learn to slow down on the stress and amount of work that I was used to dealing with. Without the current To Do List, including a corset order, I'd be in serious withdrawal from the monotony that has been my busy life.

My next step is to get a rewarding career as an RMA somewhere that I can call home. I've been doing front office long enough that that seems like second nature but I can do back office triage and still hold my own. It all depends on what is meant for me to do next, ya know? I'm on a path, even if at a rest stop, and have further to go. Thank goodness my shoes have the mileage left on them. 

I'd like to take this time to tell my classmates, "You got this and I'm proud to know you all."

To my family, "Thank you for supporting my dream."

To my friends, "You lifted me every time that I slipped."

To my supporters, "You mean so much to me."

I hope to make you proud and I want you all by my side as I keep pushing forward. And remember, dreams don't just happen while you're asleep, they can be reached while you're awake as well. Why not? What is there to lose? Just get out there and kick booty, baby.

)))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn

Wench Writer

Firsts - Admin Clinicals for college

My spring semester at college, I was working at an office for my administrative clinicals. This is where you work for a separate for credit as on the job training. This is (of course) an unpaid job but gets you the credit hours that you need to pass onto the next semester.
I was placed at an immediate care facility (that will remain nameless as I'm not sure of the rules) and it was a nice experience. I got to work with kind people who had a passion for helping others through illness and injuries. As most of my classmates where at family practices, my experience was slightly different than theirs. They were able to speak to clients that had the everyday things where mine were from a more severe level. This was where we had to triage them so we could see if they really needed to be at the emergency room for their specific situation.
I was able to see several different physician assistants and a wonderful array of assistants/nurses/techs that helped them get through the sometimes 14 hour days. The office was staffed by ladies that were great with sharing their knowledge and didn't get annoyed with my questions for my future career.
They were even in the middle of a computer switch as the new guidelines fall into place for the world of healthcare. They trusted me enough to walk me through the changes and were patient with me. I'm kinda old for this "learning new tricks" thing but I try. Giggle.
I was impressed with this office enough that I actually requested being there for the back office clinicals but as of right now (5/27), I don't know if they is even to be considered. See, that's why I'm writing this post in advance. I'm going to be working two jobs (my 4 days a wk day job plus my 2-4 day a wk clinicals) as I still attend some classes at the college campus, until I'm done 7/31/14. And if you've paid attention, you'll know that for the first week of that, I'll be finishing up my last week at the Renaissance Festival when school starts back up. Yes, I'm insane.
No matter what, as long as I pass :-), this will all be one big freaking positive in my life. These clinicals have shown me that I might be able to do back office work as well as I do front office work. I hope :-). It has also proven to me that I can still feed my muse and look at possible other future career moves as I keep my mind (and options) open to the future.
So lovelies, bear (grrr) with me as I break out of this butterfly cocoon.

)))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn
Wench Writer

Firsts - A Wench without a ship

This is a newer first for me. Some of you know that I've been working at the Georgia Renaissance Festival for the last four seasons. I'd loved the place so much that it even pushed me into being the Wench Writer as I branded myself with the corsets that I make as my uniform there. 

I started off in the ticket booth and then moved to the all powerful Pirate Ship that was then run by Captain Matt. I loved that ship and it was a treat to be welcomed aboard as one of their beloved pirate wenches. 

Now, the ship has been sold back to the owner from ten years ago and I'm no longer working for them. This doesn't mean that I'm not a pirate wench, it just means that I'm able to sail about as I see fit. My heart misses the ship but the horizon always has a new location in store for those willing to seek it. 

I'm working at the front gate as I get to greet all of the wonderful people who journey to the gates of Newcastle. The cast and employees have embraced me as if I'd been there all along. I aspire to be as talented in making my fictional characters as wonderful as the live ones they portray for us those eight weekends of faire.

This last week was week 6 of the season (Memorial weekend) and I worked all three days. I was complimented by several people on how my personality is not only warm to them but I should even try to make a character for myself and audition with it next year. I don't know if I have what it takes to be one of the amazing talents that they hire or whether I'm better suited welcoming people into the gates of the castle. It's a compliment, either way.

Here are pics that I've gathered from shots I took of the wonderful faces from my memories the last two years. If you have time, come by and enjoy one of the last two festival days that we have left.

***

And a few from a photographer Ashleigh Emerson

)))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn

Wench Writer

December Firsts - First Pregnancy

Pregnancy

 

 

Yep, I was big. I can still hear the "You're So Large" Jokes. I was lucky enough to have a good pregnancy, even if it wasn't perfect or ideal. Every pregnancy has it's ups and downs and I'm not just talking about nausea and weight. I was showing at three months but didn't have the money to foot the bill for a trip to the maternity section. For the first two trimesters I simply wore size 16/18 in anything stretchy. Then I was given a gift card from my supervisor for some maternity clothes at Rich's. I was giddy at the mall that day and trying on clothes with a fake belly that would help me pick out clothes that would last the rest of the pregnancy. They were so cute that I passed them on when a loved one became blessed with her own child.

  

 

My first trimester had me craving salads and raw vegetables. It was great because I was working for a produce company on the Ga State Farmer's Market at the time. I was able to walk through the coolers and get just about anything that I wanted, in small quantities. They even sold me boxes of special items, at cost, so I could get them without taking a trip to the grocery store.

 

My second trimester had me craving sweets. I'm talking about tea, cakes, cinnamon rolls, chocolate, and tart items like key lime pie. My mom laughed at the last one because she craved everything lemon when she was pregnant with me.

 

The last trimester had me wanting every morsel of steak that I could make room for. It was sad. I looked more like a cow than the one on my plate. It may also be why my son is a meat and potatoes kind of guy. Who knows?

 

 

I was happy for the majority of my pregnancy, even when I was suffering from toxins and edema. It took them awhile to figure out what was causing that but in the meantime I was wearing size 9 Ked's tennis shoes (as my feet swelled to epic proportions) and support hose under my clothes. Yes, fat cankles (calf-ankles for the naïve) AND wearing support hose at the ripe old age of 26. I was one hell of a sexy elephant. (Yes, my words.)

 

 

The bad news was that I was not only suffering from the before mentioned items but I was having cysts rupture the whole pregnancy due to having been diagnosed with endometriosis five years earlier. It was a miracle that I had even carried full term (plus one day). During labor, the doctor had the O.R. ready for an emergency C-section - just in case.

 

The worse news was that even though I had been in an emergency situation at 6 weeks along (hemorrhaging), my son was fine. It was his sister that hadn't made it. It had been too early to know she was even there and I had lost her. Since there wasn't ever a heart beat to catch (back when tech was less advanced), I hadn't known she was with me until I gave birth to her. Her name is/was Samantha. (She become a sleeping fairy tattoo that covers some of my scars from uterine surgeries.)

 

 

 It took me a long time to come to terms with her existence but I had prayed for one healthy child after having three surgeries to even get pregnant. It took me a year to conceive after the intensive work that I'd had done. I wasn't about to argue with God for giving me what I had asked for. I love my son (who just turned 15) and would never change having him.

He's the best thing that I've ever made. This was his firsts pics, with daddy and mommy.

 

 

So, my first pregnancy was with two beautiful angels. One was meant to hold my hand as he grew to be a whiz of a young man and the other watches over me and her brother. Samantha will always be in my heart and imprinted on my left side. Her brother will be my proof that doctors can't tell me what I'm NOT capable of doing. We're a stubborn breed, :-)

I love my babies and I never look back.

 

)))Corset Hugs(((

 

Ginny Lynn

Wench Writer