Monday, June 29, 2015

Funny things that should never happen....

I'm being funny today, so just indulge me.

NEVER...............

Put on red lipstick before taking a nap...#clownface  #ronaldmcdonaldsexface

Leave a restroom without checking to see if your skirt is in the back of your control top panty hose. #rearview #grannypantyday

Forget to put the whips back in the closet so the in-laws don't see them on the bed when they drop by #roughsex #truestory

Look in your folks medicine cabinet as you may find the box of Viagra #tmi #ick

Invite friends over for a family movie when a porno dvd is still in the player #mymistake #kidswithburnedeyes

Ask someone if the outfit makes your butt look big #truthhurts #yousawitinthemirrortoo

Tell your boss that you get more work done at home and away from them #pinkslip #dismissed

Take sauces home in your purse after a meal at Zaxby's #warmedover #orangecoatedmakeupbag

Force your parents to tell you who is their favorite #ouch #needingcounseling

Mix up your Melatonin with your Magnesium in the morning #neededcoffee #sleeptakesover

Get lazy about your tupperware in the work fridge #greengoopantibiotic #cdcdeclined

Drink alcohol before getting an impromptu tattoo #spellcheck #bleedingmassofohno

Play audio books during work hours when the owners are due in #sexnoisesheard #sexualharrassmentcharges

Jack up your favorite song in the car when taking the boss to lunch #pushitrealgoodboss #ilikebigbuttsandyoushouldlie

Chew up an Oreo before letting in your blind date #wrongfirstimpression #coalminersteeth

Fart in an elevator at work #ownersneakvisitday #gasmasksfallfromceiling

Spray on shimmer body spray when going to the gynecologist #shinyhooha #glittergoodies

Hastily rub on self tanning lotion when heading to get a physical #oompaloopa #orangeisthenewwhite 


 )))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn
Wench Writer
 



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