Random Hilarious Books That Should Be Written (I jest)

The people who have a writer's soul inside of them know that we get random ideas all the time. My best ones are in the shower or while driving in traffic. Neither of those are conducive to getting them down in writing (unless injury is not a problem).

In that thinking, here are random ideas that I have gotten that could be worked into seriously funny tales of fiction.

1. He's a Werewolf Beta and she is the dog trainer at Petsmart, where she can also get him groomed at a discount. But will their love last longer than a new Nylabone? Who knows? Title: A Dog's Best Friend

2. She's an alien starfighter pilot and he's been kicked out the M.I.B. for not busting her. Now they have to team together to save the planet. Title: Fighting for love

3. He's a Wereshark and she is an Alaskan sailor looking for her biggest seafood catch. She gets it with one of his famous toothy grins. Title: Dental Impressions

4. Heroine busts female villain who has been selling stolen breast implants on the internet. But is their passion real or fake? Title:The Jugs Are Up

5. Pirate Buckler hasn't the heart to tell his crew that he's lost his love of the sea and instead wants to spend the rest of his days in a dingy with his best mate. Title: Sailing His Sea

6. Governor Ashland has peace treaties to sign but all he wants is a piece of the chieftain's daughter Straddled Legs. Will his wants ruin the cease fire? Title: Taboo Teepee

7. This lonely waitress just got the tip she'd been busting for and he was the new bank manager that was looking over her mortgage application. Service with a smile was her only way out of debt. Title: Today's Lunch Specials

8. He was a personal chief for the bitchiest vegan actresses in Hollywood. How could he fall for a woman who was leery of trying his special tofu sausage? Title: Diary of a Mad Cow Cook

9. In a world of fast food and faster lovers, she was the only one looking for a sweet little lady to score with. But how do you catch a sexy granny? Title: G.I.L.F.

10. He was a produce man at the top rated company for the entire state and his lover was the man over the shipping department. The problem was staying together when the world's worst frost has taken out the cucumber industry and profits are crashing down? Title: Squashed Desires

I hope you found this amusing and sorry if you are offended by my warped sense of humor as I don't judge anyone upon their sexuality, just their stupidness :-) Let me know if you're going to take any of these projects on, cuz that would be awesome. (No rights will be infringed as I'm just here to entertain you).

)))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn

Wench Writer

More Writing Tips From Authors

Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. — George Orwell

Make a note of ideas for further development before you leave a piece for tomorrow.


"Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." – Anton Chekhov

Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

"The nearest I have to a rule is a Post-it on the wall in front of my desk saying ‘Faire et se taire’ (Flaubert), which I translate for myself as ‘Shut up and get on with it.’" — Helen Simpson



Imagine that you are dying. If you had a terminal disease would you finish this book? Why not? The thing that annoys this 10-weeks-to-live self is the thing that is wrong with the book. So change it. Stop arguing with yourself. Change it. See? Easy. And no one had to die. – Anne Enright

Use the mini-skirt rule: Make it long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.

1. There is a time for writing, and there is a time for editing. Don’t do both at once otherwise you’ll become too critical about what you wrote.

Make writing a priority in your life. If you say it’s important to you, then show it in how you spend your time.

“If you want to be a writer,” says Stephen King , “you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”

“The hardest part is believing in yourself at the notebook stage. It is like believing in dreams in the morning.” – Erica Jong

• “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere.”

1. Give yourself permission to write a crappy first draft.

Cory Doctorow: On writing when the going gets tough…

Write even when the world is chaotic. You don’t need a cigarette, silence, music, a comfortable chair, or inner peace to write. You just need ten minutes and a writing implement.

1. Always ask the question…”What if…”

Broken Holiday Traditions

These are traditions that I broke this past Holiday Season. I'm in shock at the normal things that weren't done after year of having a set way of doing things each and every year. 

1. I didn't go into JcPenney for my customary sweater that I would have worn on Christmas Eve or Christmas day. Sometimes, I'd even get myself one for my birthday since it's between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Usually, I ended up with three good picks per year, as I'm cold natured.

2.  I didn't even go to the mall for any pre Christmas sales. Any of them. Just...WOW. The last three years were at Arbor Place Mall in Douglasville with the years before being at Northlake Mall in Tucker. Right now, I can't even tell you the last time that I was in either mall.

3.  I ordered a majority of gifts online from Amazon, which I've never done before. Sure, I used Ebay for some vintage pieces that my kid wanted a few years back but this was me getting shoes, books, a utility cart, bras, shirts, and even new pillows for my bed. I covered several people in that one hour online.

4.  I usually go to Wilson's Leather or Kohl's for a new purse every Christmas but this year I didn't bother going to either place since it seemed that my last one had life still left in it. I even had someone give me two bags that were in great shape. Now, I just need to replace the wallet that I busted.

5.  At Thanksgiving, I didn't go to Bass Pro Outlet for anything flannel or fleece. Typically, I get some type of pullover jacket or flannel lined jeans for "snow" weather. Nada this time. I'd rather go there to see the fish swimming in their make shift pond as it was more soothing than the bustle of the people running around the aisles.

6.  I didn't write a majority of my days of at Thanksgiving. I spent some time plotting out a few things or doing research but not the countless hours of mind numbing typing. I"m just disappointed in this fact as I wanted to have two books on the way to being published by the end of 2015.

7. There was no browsing the latest electronic game system or gadgets for my son. He has plenty so why add to it? And if he keeps focusing on his games instead of his studies, he won't have them anyway.

 8. I am great about getting my gifts well ahead of any rush, with them being all wrapped up a few days before Christmas. There would be a large tub that was set aside to keep them in as I kept them safe from our inside animals. Not this year!

9.  No over eating happened. Gluttony was not my friend. I ate but not to the point of making myself sick. It just wasn't how I wanted to spend my time.

10. Not once did I go to the tool store for a gift for one of the men in my life. Usually it was my brother, hubby, or my daddy that had a tool that needed to be replaced each year. 

11. As my son is a teenager, there was no Santa wrapped presents. He knows that we're the Claus' so there is no sense lying to him about who bought the extra gifts. We just make them as a surprise and skip the rest. It still works.

Did you break any traditions or just stop doing some of the things that you once spent tons of time on? Share it with us.

 )))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn 

Wench Writer

First Week Snippets

Unedited Snippet from my first Gothic Romantic Suspense

***

“Are you ever going to tell me your name?”

“Yes,” was all he said as I saw him swiftly glance at my eyes through the shaggy brown hair that brushed his broad shoulders. The look in his eyes was enough to make me gulp. Was he laughing at me or did he find me utterly stupid? Why did I care? This was getting more frustrating than I had thought and may not be worth the fuss of the next few days, especially if Mr. White hadn’t even made an appointment to see me once I was here.

“Well?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, of course it does.”

All he asked was, “Why?”

“Why? One, it’s the polite thing to do. Two, if we’re going to be in this house together for the next few days then I’d feel more comfortable if I knew the names of the people that were staying here. Three, is there a reason for you not to share your birth name?”

“Oh Christ,” was his reply.

“Excuse me?”

“That was the first thing that was said when I was born.”

I blinked at him as he finished winding the light gauze around my hand. I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Not even knowing you, I find that you’re exasperating. Are you normally like this?”

“No one usually tells me to my face,” as a light entered his eyes.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

I took my hand back and waltzed over to my bag. “I’m tired. Is there anything else that needs to be handled while we wait for Mr. White?”

“I can show you the grounds in the light of day tomorrow.”

I huffed with annoyance at his lack of conversation. Was I not a guest in this dusty old estate? Not one moment had I felt welcome here.

“Sir, are you ever going to answer one of my questions?”

As he went to silently leave the room, with his candle, “My name is Kenrick, Kenrick Giles.”

He shut the door and when he did, a breeze ran through the room. It was as if it had to follow in his footsteps. I hoped that I had imagined that.

***

Whatcha Think?

)))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn

Wench Writer