My college fun ends this week, (mwahahaha) and I have a sweet romance releasing next month. And here I am, blogging instead of doing some of the other stuff that I need to do. Why? Because I put out a blog and want you guys to rely on me. This doesn't mean just for a quick laugh but that I'm a wench of my word. No, I don't always want to stop studying to type 300 words for a few folks to read but I want you to know my commitment to my followers. Sure, a few of you talk to me about my blogs but the lack of response hasn't stopped me from putting my vulnerable self out there for you guys.
Lately, I've been asked "How Do You Do All Of That?" and I've even had a fellow writer ask me to teach others on how I manage my time. Seriously? The only thing I've managed is stress induced hypertension. Honestly? I've managed more than I ever thought that I could and I'm shocked at how far this journey has taken me so far. Yes, I have faith in myself but I also know that I'm no spring chicken. I have bones that creak (not my corset ones, hehe) and I enjoy my time with my bed, but I have seen where my limits end. School pushed me and trying to be myself in the meantime showed me what kind of endurance that was needed to get where I needed to be. I'm not quite there (yet) but I'm seeing it with my own vision and not through a looking glass.
Not everyone is religious, but I was born and raised Southern Baptist. I'm not going to get into my beliefs as that's a different topic that will end in my being more spiritual and why. The only reason I even mention this is that I as a person have no idea how I got through all that has transpired. Some of it has been awful but other moments have brought me to joyous tears. Several things can be said, such as Anyone can do anything if driven hard enough, or A Person Can Endure Many Things In A Short Amount Of Time. Seeing it from my hazel eyes, By the grace of God go I, is all I can think of.
No schedules were set up. No white board was involved in my master plan to stress myself out to medicated lengths. There was no minion or bribery involved in getting things done behind the scenes. If there were, then I make more than I thought or my minion worked for peanuts. The secret was that there was no secret. I just did what I had to do, like anyone else (with oodles of stress time) would. Television was given up, so was leisure time sewing, and fixing up the house that I'm renting. Housework? HA! You see if you can do better and then we'll talk.
What this has taught me is that I'm much stronger than I anticipated. But I also learned where I have to draw the line in my sandbox. I can't do it all, not quite. I've taken on more than I can chew with a few things but my peeps were kind enough to be patient with my blind spots. With school ending 7/31, I'll be able to recoup (under a desk somewhere) and use the new free time to get back to being more of myself. I need to feed my soul. I'm also getting to purchase a home, so time will be available for me to put my mark on it. I'll even have an office :-) Giggle!
Whatever you take from all of this, just know that it's up to you to see what you are capable of doing. That teacher that told you to give up writing two years ago can fly a kite. Friends who think you will come home crying can just sit at the front step and wait for you as you sail by. Family who think you'll come running back with a sad tale will just have to make you a drink as you tell them of your success. It's not them doing it, it's all you. The Good Witch told Dorothy correctly, you had the power all along. Just click your heels, my friend.