Monday, July 6, 2015

Putting it out there - Nervous Breakdown Included

As an author, I have had three of my manuscripts published. Each of these was wondrous as it was solid proof to me that I had enough talent to have a publishing house back my creative fictional plots. Every contract was putting a stake in the ground of my faith in myself to get my characters out there to people who are interested in them.

I'm behind on my writing as I have just recently gotten back to writing again since I'm no longer working two jobs and going to college. I started four books and had book one of my series out there for people to critique for me. Being able to grab my Facebook friends up so I can get second opinions on my ideas was a great tool to have with my not having a critique group to back me. These people have been successful sounding boards on what will sound more realistic for a my projects.

Getting their advice is helpful, even in the moments that my work sucks, but there is one thing that tears at me worse than being vulnerable to my friends. This would be the dreaded cold submission to a publishing company or a well known agent. It makes me want to hurl just thinking about being inferior to the people that rock the publishing world. Having to conquer this horrendous feat is currently what I'm doing and I find it hard to not count the days.

For those of you that are well into several publications, indie or not, I'd like to know how you keep yourself from checking your inbox every few minutes as you chew your nails to the bone. Currently, I have two manuscripts at various places and know that a few of them will take much longer as those companies are more in demand. I totally understand why some place need three months, but that doesn't mean that I'll have my scalp intact by then.    

All of the dates for each place has been etched into my desk calendar as I hope to hear something positive back from each of them. Yes, I know that won't happen, but I can dream. How do I calm the sea of ships that are battering around my nervous stomach as I think over these knowledgeable people tossing my submission against a cubicle wall? Where does one focus when this deadline of your own making looms over your head? Do I just focus (lol) on the next projects as a way to absorb some of the dread? I'm trying to. I even took on critiquing someone else as a way to keep my mind away from my own submissions but I have a long way to go before I can actually calm down.

The nerves will die when I get a response from each of these places, or I go ahead with the lobotomy that has been mentioned to me since childhood. I know that I can't control this once I hit the Send button. It's a chant in my head every single day. The one thing I can be happy about is that I did it. My babies were sent to people to tell me if I "dressed them funny" or if they needed to be on a fictional diet (backstory), but I'm trusting the people with my children. This mama is proud of every single one of the babies I'm able to have and wish them the best when I send them on to "college" (publishers). But a mom is always a mom and I'm scared for them. Any suggestions? Funny lines? Lobotomy references?

)))Corset Hugs(((

Ginny Lynn 
Wench Writer

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