My paranormal romance, Andromeda, released last week and is currently up for sale. While looking over excerpts for this story, I realized that it was fitting some situations close to my heart. I even realized that this theme is also in my paranormal series, Savage.
The theme is on being someone else.
We’ve all had to face how the world wants to see us and the contrast of how we want to be seen. This goes for every social group and all sexual orientations, because we all fight to be the person that we truly understand to be breathing under our skins.
Andromeda has to live as a human as a 400 year old psychic vampire. Most would understand why as that kind of thing just isn’t normal in our society. That’s also what makes her such a rich character. She knows who she is but has to pretend to be someone else in order to have any kind of normal life.
In my life, I’ve battled with this same scenario. I’m feisty, sarcastic, and passionate. I don’t fit into the “corporate world” and seek jobs that are outside of that click. I know it wouldn’t work, so why bother, right? This acceptance of my line in the sand is an accomplishment as I did fight my nature for many years. Who doesn’t?
Yet again, as an older woman, I’m faced with society rules. I’m not happy about it, in the least. I realize that as a person, there is always room for improvement. I will forever consider myself to be Under Construction. I have a long list of my flaws and don’t need my nose rubbed into every single one of them.
That being said, I’m in a mental battle with myself. I see a few things that have scarred me, thus needing to be corrected. I can accept and own these. The problem is that I have no idea where I stand in this world. I am what I am, and for good reason. I write and sew as a way of purging the creative gene that builds within me. I find joy in this. But what about the other facets of my life? No one should have to hide their soul from the world. To do this is to lie to yourself.
My career choices have been against my inner person, in a few specific ways. Where do I draw the line and where can I plant myself in order to grow as a fully rounded individual? I feel as if I’m my characters, Andromeda and Constance, as I hide parts of myself as to avoid harsh criticism.
Snippet from Animal Management, book 1 of my Savage Series:
The sea of red and black wavy glass embraced the moods from the white sign waving protestors and the bullied customers lining up at the entrance. I turned to see every member of the crew standing behind me in awe of the spectacle outside. I smelled fear on someone as they debated whether we should go ahead and unlock the door. I wasn’t afraid. One day I’d die, but it wouldn’t be tonight, especially for a hybrid like me.
Well, it was time to open up. Let’s get this circus started. I took the position of hostess, as I let regulars and new comers into the bar. I was glad to see the regulars were back. The cook had told me that some of them didn’t want to be bothered by normal people while at the bar. They came here to be themselves and to get away from the pressure of appearances out there. Some of them were even closet freaks whose employers were unaware of their lifestyles. Now the laws said that we couldn’t discriminate against humans and had to now welcome them into our paranormal world. Our sanctuary was no more and we were open to a frenzy of non-believers. That was why the protesters were outside of our very doors.
So here’s my choice, be someone else for the world or hug myself closely as I look for where I belong.
What would you do?